Building Connection

I was born and raised on a gentle, wooded lake in Wisconsin, deeply connected to God and to nature. My fondest adventures were routinely getting lost on the water on an old barrel raft with my brother, Dave, playing Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. These were not our parents’ fondest memories, however. I kept that childlike curiosity and sense of adventure growing up studying, traveling and living around the world. I also kept that intuition and connection to the natural world as I matured spiritually and intellectually as a scientist. It was this connection that drew me to the Roaring Fork Valley when I moved back to the United States. Its mountains and rivers had been magical to me as a child and remained so as an adult. I made the final decision to settle in the Valley on a day’s retreat at St. Benedict’s Monastery in Snowmass. I later discovered that I had quite a bit of family connection to this area as well. I learned that my grandfather, a test pilot and rocket scientist, who I came to know only in his final years, had climbed these mountains for most of his life. On my first Christmas here, Abbot Joseph informed that my great aunt and uncle donated the land, built and supported St. Benedict’s Monastery in Snowmass. Apparently, I was drawn to this land because I and those before me were connected to it.

I moved here from Rwanda, where I was working for UNICEF and UN Women. As I transitioned back to life in the US, I grew deeply concerned about the increased social disconnection in our culture as a leading US public health risk.  I wanted to share with everyone the deep cultural ethics and wise humanity I had learned to live by in Africa (or as best as any non-African could). My partner, Patrick, a Rwandan who devotes his life’s work to countering hate via peace-building, unity and reconciliation, teaches me every day how to best live from this deep-rooted connection to the Creator and to all of humanity. When I greet someone, I remember what 4 nuns in Zululand, South Africa taught me. A daily salutation in the Zulu language is Sawubona. It translates to “I see you.” I remember what it meant to really be seen by villagers with whom I crossed paths on the way to and from the school where I volunteered. They meant it. They took the time and the care to see me. To them, there was no such thing as a stranger. It was a grace that sustained me, body and soul.

These lived experiences so shape my practice and all of my relationships today. I love providing good care to people as the art and science of interpersonal connection. My academic and professional training, my clinical experience and the person who I am in the therapeutic relationship combine to support one’s progress in therapy. Common to each person I work with, no matter what the treatment model or goals we are going after, are the reported outcomes of greater connection to one’s true self and greater authentic connection to others. For many, this also extends to a greater connection to one’s own spirituality or life’s meaning and/or to one’s environment (eg. nature, all of humanity, the world etc.). This is the art that partners with the science of clinical psychology.